are we there yet?

so its been a while since we last updated. this has been on purpose...so no we haven't forgotten about the blog and those that check it =)

on a good note, we know we are exactly where God has called us which is an AWESOME feeling.

so the last year has been crazy as most of you know. since the initial move to valpo, we've moved twice. i feel like i can't get a grip on any kind of security. just when i start feeling normal again and a tad comfortable, something else comes up to upset the balance. my mom has been in and out of the hospital since christmas and the last time was put on life support for a couple days. long story short, last week she was diagnosed with lung cancer. the same week that mom told us she has cancer, a very good long time friend of ours got into some trouble. it was about a week that i could barely function. i can't seem to understand or get my mind around anything lately. i hate that i am changing. i dont like feeling like a different person than who i know i really am.

this update is merely for an update. i really don't feel like typing anything up or thinking into anything deep. i know that Jesus has a plan but i dont understand why it has to be this way.

of course...the Son of Man had no where to rest His head and how many times was Paul ship wrecked, imprisoned, etc?

i love ingrid michaelson and this song came on my pandora today and it hit the spot
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rkA4tJ9D1LY

come as you are...and they mean it

i dont even know where to start on this blog. the only thing i can think is: incredible. yesterday i was standing there and singing along with the rockin band and it hit me, "HOLY CRAP!! we just moved here for this." i was shocked lol i just stood there in awe that we are finally here. i have been making observances and noting things in my mind and now i want to put them down on something where i can go back and re-read them sometime in the future. i have never seen a church that so gets what Jesus was about. its fabulous. here's some of the stuff i've gathered....

1. i love our GP smokers. i love walking up to my church and seeing 10-20 smokers out front hanging out. churches always say, 'come as you are!!' but do they mean it? would they mean it if a couple people were puffing on their cigarettes out front of their building when people are walking in? i love my sunday morning chat with our GP smokers =)

2. GP is the first church i have ever been a part of that they have said 'come as you are' and 'we dont care what you look like and what your baggage is' and they mean it!! i feel like i can come in and wear whatever and be whoever and talk however i want to talk and they will be glad i came. finally...someone who TRULY accepts all.

3. i love that it doesn't matter what the people up front look like. our pastor is a swackit wearing, jeans with holes sporting, young punk =) one of the guys in our band, every sunday he wears a big gray stocking hat. so awesome. i can remember being yelled at by one of my parental units for wearing a hat in church as a kid. i didn't understand why that was a big deal....and still don't. im glad its not here.

4. lives are being changed daily! everything is so real. if it doesn't work, we dont do it. if Jesus would not have been down with it, we don't talk about it. we do not do something just for the sake of doing it because its the way it has always been done. forget that.

when i was hanging out after church, ben was chatting with some people and asked me to 'man' the welcome table. so i was greeting people and not sure if they were new or not because im still new =) i met a guy with a weed shirt and a curly mustache. we talked about how cool it would be for him to walk around and play with his mustache like some kind of deviant lol this was his 2nd sunday and he loves it. he feels accepted. he was never a fan of church before...but GP has struck something inside of him. i am glad that i gave up everything to come here. totally worth it!!

Let me put a disclaimer out there...this may sound like i am saying GP is a perfect church but they are not. these are human people attempting to do the work of our Savior and things will get messed up. however...this stuff rocks.

settling in

first off, i apologize for the lack of blogging lately. with moving in, going on a week-long vacation, and starting a new full-time job/job hunting it has been hectic. so where do i start?...

moving in went fine. things we frequently use are pretty much out of boxes. living with people is an adjustment but we keep remembering that Jesus has a big plan for us so we endure.

i started my job on monday. i was really nervous about it. i really enjoyed my last office so i was a little worried about how this would go. it's definitely different than my last office but i LOVE it!! it's a perfect fit for me. they keep me really busy and that is exactly what i want. i don't do well with having a bunch of down-time with nothing to do. i guess im too ADD for that =)

aaron is still job searching. he is putting in his subbing applications tomorrow morning. he has a few possibilities but nothing solid as far as full-time employment goes. we are just trying to trust God. we KNOW He called us here for a reason....so what is it? we know we are to be a part of GracePoint but whats the rest?

this whole experience has been totally rewarding...and HUMBLING. i feel like this entire year has been leading up to this move...or preparing us to make this move rather. this whole year has been about breaking us of who we thought we were in things, our jobs, and other people. we couldn't have made this move if we hadn't learned those things or saw them. i remember one night laying in bed...and just crying. crying is an under-statement...i was sobbing. asking God 'WHY?? I AM HUMBLED ENOUGH, MAKE THIS STOP!!' Everything was breaking, embarrassing, etc.

we continue to be humbled. everything we are doing sounds so....nuts. i have never been embarrassed to tell people what i do or what my husband does or where we live. in a way, ive been ... not proud as in arrogant but happy with where we were and didn't mind sharing the info. over vacation, the couple we were visiting (Jenny) was having a college girls hangout night or whatever. so we were all hanging out and none of them knew me so they are asking me all the typical conversational small talk stuff. this is about how the conversation went...

college-ette: so are you married or have a boyfriend?
mwah: im married
c: oh really!? cool. what does your husband do?
m: well he is currently unemployed.
c: oh gotcha. so where do you live?
m: with my mom.
c:...... oh. *turns to someone else because im a loser*

i try to explain that God has called us to a really awesome ministry but i know not all of them 'got it' or cared why we moved. it was...humbling to say the least.

that night...i lay in bed again and had another sob session with Jesus. it's okay to let Him know you are angry, scared, confused, and/or frustrated. if you can't tell your best friend....who can you tell? i ranted about 'why would you ask us to come live with my mom?? why would you ask us to MAKE our life hard?? how could it be part of your plan for us to not know how to pay bills next week and to hope it works out?? how is this your plan??? to prosper and not harm you....whatever.'

well i just let that little situation slide. then a couple mornings ago i got up a little early and decided to go for a little walk/run with my puppy. as we were jogging along, i was admiring the beautiful sunrise. it was so simple and so beautiful. all of a sudden...i was overcome with a wave of peace. a knowing of how GREAT my Jesus is!! then i remembered...the Son of Man had no where to rest His head. why? well...that wasn't the point of Him being here so why should it be mine? we know exactly what God called us here for. so that's the point...and nothing else.

we're here!

there's a lot to say but nothing at the same time. we are all settled in to our current residence, said goodbye to our house, and signed the lease for our tenant to take over on april 1. right now we are just hanging out. aaron is applying different places and is planning on substitute teaching until something more permanent comes up. right now...we are just walking the desert waiting for God to reveal his plan. there are bits and pieces here and there where we think God is revealing His grand plan to us. most of the time we just keep praying and try not to be too hopeful as it could all come crashing down at any moment.

we go on vacation (leave sunday after church) to spend sometime in wiconsin together and then down to quincy, illinois to visit our college pals tyler and jenny and their new little baby girl journey. we are really looking forward to that time of relaxation.

aaron went over and played with the GP band last night and had a great time. tonight we are going to help them set up for the weekend and tomorrow morning is the community group leader meeting. we are really excited to be a part of gracepoint and so thrilled to be here!

keep praying.

come as you are

occasionally i hear a comment about how fast this is all moving. sometimes i hear God speak to me. it's not so much audible as it is a thought that pops into my head and im not sure how i could have ever thought of that. this morning i was getting ready for my last day of work and was thinking about how quickly it feels like this has all happened. then the thought of Jesus calling his disciples popped into my head. when Jesus said, 'follow Me'...they didn't wait around. they dropped everything right there (some walking out on jobs, wives, children, community committments, etc). incredible. if we think we are 'moving quickly' then we have something else to learn. would i have been willing to drop it all and not look back if Jesus walked up to me and said 'lets roll'? its a good thought to chew on. if our answer is no...we need to re-evaluate our purpose.

wednesday night we had our last jr high ignite. it was sad, inspiring, and encouraging all at the same time. aaron talked about stained glass. its beautiful. when you look really closely at a portion of it you will notice that there are lots of different pieces making up a picture. each piece is different size, shape, color, and sometimes texture. pick out one piece and look at it. it is pretty...sort of. kind of odd shaped. one wouldn't know what to do with it or what its purpose was...until you see the bigger picture. all of these different pieces make up our mission. each person is different. their purpose may not seem significant but in the grand scheme of things...so very important. the picture wouldn't be finished without it.

may the Lord bless and keep you. may His face shine upon you,

aaron & sonia

see ya later

last night was our last HS ignite. daniel gall had a great lesson and it was just what i needed to hear. he spoke about the immensity of God. we saw videos of how small our planet is compared to our universe and we talked about how big God is. it seems so simple but when you see something like the videos that daniel showed us....its....inspiring.

it was a bittersweet evening. exciting to start our new adventure but ... surely sad as well. we are going to miss all of our high schoolers so much. what an awesome group of kids. at the end of youth group, they gathered around us and prayed for us...and i was blown away by their faith. the things they prayed were so beautiful and in that moment...i was SO proud to have had an influence on these incredible teens.

thank you to one of our teens that prayed for satan's rebuke. i have no words. anything i say wouldn't do justice do what i feel. so...rock on.

sometimes its easy to question if you are doing the 'right thing' even when you are sure that God is sending you on a mission. when satan is unhappy he does everything possible to destroy the path God has sent you on...and sometimes that leaves one feeling broken and wondering what the right thing is. so its a fleshly feeling to wonder if you ever helped at all...especially for youth ministry. it is one of those things that you don't see the result until years after you have invested (most of the time). last night one of our youth guys prayed a prayer that made me thing "that is why we were here". he thanked God for bringing us here and letting us "leave our mark on" him. he said (in more or less words) that all the people they would come in contact with for years and years to come would see a piece of our passion in them. wow. big words for someone so young in age.

after the 'prayer pow-wow', aaron said a few things to our youth peeps. he just thanked them for being a part of our lives. as much as we have touched them...they have touched us. that is SO true. each kid has taught us something or blessed us in some way. so awesome to have been a part of this.

i hate goodbye. i LOVE see ya later. i better see all of you at some point up to see us and know we will be back for a visit sometime soon. we will be thinking of you all and praying daily for your journeys. just because we have moved locations doesn't change the fact that we are all on the same mission together.

may the Lord bless and keep you. may His face shine upon you,

aaron & sonia

thank you switchfoot

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iOTcr9wKC-o&feature=fvst

Lyrics to I Dare You To Move :
Welcome to the planet
Welcome to existence
Everyone's here
Everyone's here
Everybody's watching you now
Everybody waits for you now
What happens next?

[Chorus:]
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened before

Welcome to the fallout
Welcome to resistance
The tension is here
Between who you are and who you could be
Between how it is and how it should be

[Chorus]

Maybe redemption has stories to tell
maybe forgiveness is right where you fell
Where can you run to escape from yourself?
Where you gonna go?
Where you gonna go?
Salvation is here

[Chorus]